• For those of you celebrating St. Patrick's Day, here are the local joints that will be serving up some Dirty Mick fare for your enjoyment:

• You can vote for the best in Dayton's fine dining here, but according to the comments, only retards are allowed to vote (for ice cream parlors and $2 tacos).

• The Dark Horse Tavern in Miamisburg has invested in a wood smoker and will now be serving barbecue. New menu items will range from $6.50 for a pulled pork sandwich to $16.50 for a full slab baby back rib dinner.

• My friend Tim from YouIndie was recently pulled in by the deceptive siren song of Taco Bell's new shrimp offerings. Alex, I'll take "Things that taste like ass" for $500.

"I stopped at Taco Bell for a late dinner Saturday when I got back to Dayton, and their new Pacific Shrimp Taco is one of the nastiest things I’ve ever tasted in my life. I guess it is my own fault for trusting Taco Bell with seafood. The shrimp looked like the cast of Jersey Shore, orange-tinted and fake-tanned, but tasted like little hams, as the shrimp had been marinated in or injected with some sort of smoke flavor. Avoid it at all costs."